Wednesday, September 21, 2005
I want to be a minion

It’s not fair.  Seems everywhere I go someone is accusing others of having minions or cronies.  Well, I want to be a minion since it seems the thing to be these days.  I don’t want to be a crony because that sounds old, and I’m too young to be old.

I don’t understand why no one wants me to be her minion.  I brush my teeth daily, wear deodorant, very little perfume; I change my big-girl panties every day too.  Is it because this blog makes me look fat?  You don’t want fluffy (okay, fine.. Fat) minions?  Why?

I really need to get into the minion thing.  It’s important.  It’s got to be, certain people are jealous that other people have minions.  In fact, they complain about it regularly.  I don’t want to have minions though.  That seems like too much responsibility.  I don’t want any more responsibility than I already have.  After all I do have a life that revolves outside of my front door.  I have to work every day, I have two college classes this term, the dog never eats my homework, I drive my own car faster than I should up and down two major freeways.  My son is reasonably responsible and independent and fortunately grew up without being afraid of his shadow, or tied to my apron strings, but he does still hug, kiss and tell me he loves me in front of his friends, so I must have been a pretty good mom despite the fact that I wasn’t a stay at home mom while he was growing up.  My husband has several hobbies that I support 100% and I’ve never had to get his permission to do anything.  

Maybe that’s the ticket as to why I’m not a minion.  I never ask anyone’s permission and I could care less of anyone’s approval.  Of course I also call the doctor when I have a medical question, or look things up on line, before I ask a life-altering question on a BB.  I wonder if that could be why no one wants me as a minion?  

The other day I decided to do some research so I cruised some BBs and blogs, instead of studying as much as I should of, and here’s my comments because I know everyone who’s anyone, especially those looking for new minions are reading this:

When I have time, I’m going to be self-centered.  Me, me, me.  My, my, my.  Whine, whine, whine.  Everyone’s talking about me, me, me.

When I have time, I’m going to be all-powerful.  I’m going to moan and complain and whine so much that no one is going to want to hang out at the BBs I hang out at.  This one’s going to be tough, because unlike some self-centered people, I care about other people (that’s a no-no, though, isn’t it).

I’m going to start up a fluffy minion BB and ban everyone who gives me the advice I ask for.   I’ll have to come up with a clever BB title.  Your opinions appreciated, but I’ll probably just delete them.  Oh, I know!  How about Furry Footed Minions? Or Pointy Eared Peons?  Or Faction of the Furry Footed Minions?  The Friendship of the Ringleader.  The Return of the Queen!  Ooooo, The Two Terri’s!  I’m giving myself goose bumps and I’m running out of mature, brainy ideas here…hurry up and post comments.

Wait!  Here’s some more…Society of the Circle?  Arrival of the Ruler?  Hmmm.

I’m going to find someplace and start voicing my opinion and make sure other people know that whatever it is they have to say, they’re wrong.  I may even use the bullshit word.  I can star out letters with the best of them but I have a dictionary and thesaurus and I can look up some words to try to make myself look all knowledgeable and know-it-ally.  Oh wait!  I am knowledgeable and know-it-ally.  Never mind.

Oh, and I’m also going to post on a BB where I know no one likes me.  That’ll make me a minion.  

Who am I kidding?  I’m too busy worrying about eminent domain, elder abuse, worshipping the ground my dog walks on, the almost 2000 American killed in a worthless war and the hurting people of my state to be playing charades, or hinting around at things.  

What you see is what you get…on the BBs and face to face.  I think if you ask the people who’ve met me you’ll find that I’m pretty straightforward all the way around, I speak my mind, wear my heart on my sleeve and pull no punches.  I can also take as well as receive.  And yes, I read your blog and what you post on the BBs (I’m still trying to figure that out since you don’t like any of us) since my daddy taught me to keep my friends close and my “enemies” closer.  So, you need to grow up, get a life and get over yourself!  And while you’re at it blow your nose, sniveling is unattractive.
posted by Terri at 7:15 AM |