There's nothing more depressing than driving through the front gate here, after some 'mishap' in Iraq or Afganistan (remember Afganistan?). Today is no exception; however, it is a bit worse. While none of the Marines killed were in Husband's unit, there's still that feeling that I've lost a friend or a family member.

There are very few houses on the street where I live that don't sport a bright yellow bow. Sometimes, you see a black one and with the number of Marines killed this morning, I expect to see a new one show up any time now. With the diversity of jobs and the high rank in my neighborhood, there's always someone you know who actually knows one of the people killed.

So the vultures are there with their cameras and their microphones, hoping someone will stop and tell them how they feel. Why can't people mourn in private anymore? Is there really anyone out there who doesn't have some inkling of an idea how we feel when this happens? Do they really need to ask "how did you feel when you heard...?" I'll tell you how I feel. Sometime I don't feel. I get numb with fear. Other times I feel like I could take that microphone and shove it down your throat so your throat will feel as tight as mine does while we wait for the names to be released and I pray it's no one I know. Then I feel guilty. And of course, I feel anger.